what is realistic baby sleep?

“When will my baby sleep through the night?'“ or some variation of this is one of the first questions I often hear from my clients. But, I don’t have an answer to this. Instead, I educate them about healthy sleep habits and realistic sleep expectations. Here are the basics of what to expect from your baby’s sleep in the first few weeks.

Babies wake often to eat.

In the first two - three weeks, a baby will feed 8 or more times every 24 hours, around the clock. That might sound crazy, but a baby’s stomach is so teeny that eating often is necessary. So, you should expect your baby to wake at least that often, sometimes more #clusterfeeding.

Once your baby gains weight and you and your pediatrician are comfortable with your baby’s weight, you will begin letting your baby go longer stretches at night. This doesn’t mean your baby will immediately sleep eight to twelve hours, but you’ll slowly start working toward that.

babies don’t have a circadian rhythm.

A circadian rhythm is the 24 hour cycle that the average person has that tells them to sleep at night and stay awake during the day. This is important because it’s a parent’s job to teach this rhythm to their children (and why most children have a similar rhythm to their caretakers.) You can start teaching this to your baby by making their space bright when it’s time to start the day and make it dark and quiet when it’s time to go to sleep for the night.

parents should focus on a routine, not a schedule.

There are so many “perfect” baby schedules, but that doesn’t exist! At first, babies wake when they’re hungry and sleep when they’re tired. No matter how many times you tell them to sleep until 8 am, they won’t do it if they don’t feel like it. Until your baby is ready for a longer stretch and has a more structured wake time, the early days will be a constant cycle of eating, changing diapers, and sleeping.

Don’t put the pressure on yourself to have a set schedule because, again, you can’t control when your baby is hungry or tired. Instead, create a routine with a general wake time and bed time. Then, follow a routine like E-A-S-Y from Tracy Hogg or eat / wake / sleep cycle from Baby Wise. Having a general routine will give structure to the day and won’t leave you frustrated when baby wakes at different times.

Parents should focus on healthy sleep habits.

Your long-term goal is to have a good sleeper. But that doesn’t happen right away. Start with small sleep habits that will help your baby sleep better in the long-term. This can include keeping a nursery or sleep area cool and dark or adding white noise. You can also aim to put your baby in their sleep space while still awake (often referred to as drowsy but awake) so that they learn to put themselves to sleep.

So, instead of stressing about when your baby will sleep through the night, remind yourself that babies sleep longer stretches at different times. Focus on developing a good routine and healthy sleep habits instead.

Want to create a sleep plan for your baby (along with a birth and postpartum plan for you?) Let’s book a Prenatal Meeting or a VIP intensive: Ready for Baby in a Day!

Hi! I'm Gigi; I'm a postpartum doula, mother to three toddlers, including twins, and a wife to my high school sweetheart. I’m a #swiftie who loves cheesy novels.

As a former teacher, I bring realistic, evidence-based, and actionable advice (and LOTS of handouts.) I help families get the tools they need to prepare, so once baby arrives, they can focus on resting and bonding instead of researching or stressing. I’m here to streamline the newborn learning curve and help birth parents, partners, and other family members. There isn’t ONE way to have and raise a little human. I’m here to guide parents to find THEIR way so that they can thrive in the fourth trimester and beyond.

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