protecting your identity postpartum
Adjusting to the loss of your pre-baby life is one of the biggest struggles of being a new parent. When I was up in the middle of the night feeding a baby (or two,) I would reminisce about how easy I had it, eating, sleeping, showering whenever I felt like it. It makes it hard to remember who you used to be when your identity is wrapped up in being a parent. Here are ways to stay connected to you - before baby.
know that you aren’t alone
So many new parents feel guilty for wanting time away from their baby or feeling nostalgic for those pre-baby days. But it’s natural! Before now, parents didn’t take full responsibility for raising and caring for their children; it’s become all-encompassing (plus work, and a relationship, and a home, and friends, and on and on.) When you feel confused or guilty, remind yourself that many others feel like this. And there are things you can (and should) do to alleviate that pressure.
choose your daily anchor
I tell my clients to do one thing each day that makes them feel like themselves. It’s their daily anchor. It might be a hot cup of coffee, or a cheesy reality tv show, or a walk around the block. Make this 30 minutes a priority.
create a support system
If you’ve talked to me about the fourth trimester, you know I’m a big advocate of creating a support system. This team should support you through your physical and emotional recovery. (And hopefully includes a postpartum doula!)
Don’t be afraid to ask your support system for help.
create check-ins with 1 - 3 support people
Open and honest communication with that support system is imperative. So, choose a few people (a partner, a best friend, a sibling, a therapist) to check-in with regularly. If you have a partner or main support person, make that check-in happen daily. If not, have someone you can talk to each day. And not just about your baby, but about shows or books or work to remind you that you’re a person all on your own, not only a parent.
schedule weekly / monthly time away
The time it takes to care for a baby can be shocking. (It’s all the time!) While you love your baby, you need time to yourself. And, you need time to connect with friends and family. Schedule time to connect with the people who knew you before you were a parent, whether it’s a coffee date or a walk or a fancy dinner or a couple’s massage, whatever you need. It’s essential to avoid feeling like you’ve lost yourself.
Want guidance to prepare yourself, your partner, and your family for your little one? Book a prenatal meeting or VIP day with me! You can also learn more by following me on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest.
Hi! I'm Gigi; I'm a postpartum doula, mother to three toddlers, including twins, and a wife to my high school sweetheart. I’m a #swiftie who loves cheesy novels.
As a former teacher, I bring realistic, evidence-based, and actionable advice (and LOTS of handouts.) I help families get the tools they need to prepare, so once baby arrives, they can focus on resting and bonding instead of researching or stressing. I’m here to streamline the newborn learning curve and help birth parents, partners, and other family members. There isn’t ONE way to have and raise a little human. I’m here to guide parents to find THEIR way so that they can thrive in the fourth trimester and beyond.
